Ah, Rachel Ray. Cook. Talk show host. General television personality. Terrorist sympathizer*. I've been in love with her for awhile now. I know, I know. She is grating, yes. She does walk the fine line of enthusiasm and obnoxiousness, yes. And yes, I'm sure in real life she's a huge bitch. I know all that. But there's just something about her. I get the feeling that she is absolutely the dirtiest whore in the world in bed. You know damn well she cusses like a sailor; with that voice there's no way she couldn't. She's the kind of freak who gets on top and tries to break your dick off while she's riding you and uses her teeth a little more than you'd like when she's giving a beej. Probably slaps you around and screams a lot. But by the same token, she probably goes in for anal no questions asked and wouldn't even care if you maybe wanted to piss on her a little. (Not that I would personally, I'm just saying.**) I've even downloaded Eva Angelina vids because she bears a passing resemblance to Rachel Ray. That and the fact she likes to wear her glasses when she fucks. That shit is hot.
So until a sex tape gets released. and twenty bucks says she's already done a couple, I'm going to have to settle for matching up the audio with these pictures and using the power of imagination.
Yum-o indeed.
*For the record, Michelle Malkin is one of the few women on this planet who define wholly and completely the term "grudge fuck."
**Just kidding. I'd totally piss on her.
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